Windows (& SF Chronicle Feature!)

Lovelies,

There are moments that stay with us forever. 

In some cases it's clear why. Something massive took place.

But sometimes it's like, what? THAT moment? I barely noticed it WHILE it was happening!

Last night I realized I've been carrying such a moment for quite some time. It came to me like this: I opened my bedroom window and let in the sounds of ever-active Claremont Avenue. And suddenly I remembered twenty years ago, midnight, lying in a West Berkeley bed with a love, listening to sounds off the street mixing with whatever we were spinning — David Gray or Sade I assume. I remembered I felt open like the window.

And I thought, now why is THAT moment hitting me with all the power of a formative event? 

Ah but it was a formative event.

I realize now, not only is it a trope of my life as a lover, it's a trope of my life as an artist. I am wildly open. No really, I took that NEO personality inventory and I'm 99% open. If it's in this world, I'm inviting it in. (To whatever extent I'm good at creating, I believe this is why.) But also, I am wildly sensitive. To let literally anything in is catastrophically destabilizing. (To whatever extent I'm good at creating, I believe this, also, is why.)

So picture me, my psyche an open window, closing all the windows. 

I can only imagine this is a balance required of many artists. How do we let ourselves be as open as our work commands and also support our sensitivity to survive it?

It must be this: There is defiance amidst openness that guides my best studio days. There is defiance amidst openness that guides my best song lyrics. 

Listening to the sounds off the street last night, I connected to every moment of my life where my openness and sensitivity held hands. And I relaxed in a way I haven't since the fire.

With all my love,

Rachel

I'm not the only one writing about my creative life this month! This week Andrew Gilbert submitted a positively beautiful feature about me to the San Francisco Chronicle — detailing how collaborating with Narada Michael Walden, producing twelve albums in three years, and coaching songwriters around the world led me to develop an app for creativity.

What a surreal thrill to experience my journey again through his eyes. You know someone is a great writer when they teach you about yourself! Shout out, too, to the wonderful photographer, Yoshi James, who did three amazing photo shoots to make sure she captured everything.