Romancing Nothing

Lovelies,

I've been on autopilot lately.

By lately I mean for a year.

I all but cry to disclose this. I value the examined life. The inhabited life. The RADICALLY LIVED life.

And yet for quite a while I've witnessed my life only as it recedes in the rearview mirror.

What on earth has befallen Our Lady of Introspection!

I think this:

Surviving a fire is many things. And it turns out one of them is SOCIAL! You would not BELIEVE how social surviving a fire is! You talk constantly to everyone. You make new friends. You live with friends. You recalibrate literally all of your relationships.

And:

Releasing an app is many things. And it turns out one of them is SOCIAL! You would not BELIEVE how social releasing an app is! You interview everyone. You meet artists and app developers and (god help me) marketing consultants. You have five meetings a day.

Our Lady of Introspection has been living a life outside of herself, and her internal life is overgrown with weeds.

But also this: Both the fire and the app changed me. And my old methods for tending myself -- DNRS, EFT -- have proven to no longer apply.

But all is not lost: Today I caught a lead.

I took the day off. Like WAY off. Like misanthropic off. I let my eyes go blurry and my mind go dizzy. I felt sad. I felt excited. I felt extremely tired. I had my first truly new ideas in weeks.

So until I'm graced with some new multi-lettered modality, I'm going with nothing. I'm going to romance nothing like it's the hottest girl at the bar. 

My plan is to do nothing until I witness myself, in the present tense, integrating the last year of my life.

With all my love,

Rachel

In other news, June was a fantastic return to producing. I began projects with pop heroine Frankie Bengtson (I mean she's truly extraordinary, watch this space, etc.) AND literary folk success story David Hobbes (our first outing, his debut album Searching for a Home, is at over 150K streams on Spotify alone).

I love my team: James DePrato (guitar), Jason Slota (drums), Daniel Fabricant (bass), Gabriel Shepard (engineer).

And I love, even beyond my impressive capacity for gratitude, this life where my job is to make music sound great. I told you last month that returning to my songs didn't feel like a homecoming. Well this month returning to PRODUCING did.

You know the drill: no music for ages. But please enjoy this photo evidence.